“Are you taking care of yourself dear woman?” by Lami Phillips

Lami Phillips, a Nigerian singer and songwriter, mother and wife, shared this insightful note on her Instagram page urging women to take care of themselves. Read on…

“Are you taking care of yourself dear woman? I know you’ve got responsibilities.. especially if you are a wife and mother.. but where do YOU fit in? You deserve joy.. peace of mind.. fulfilment. Yes .. YOU. When last did you do something for yourself? When last did you take a day off or a night out? There never really is a good time. There will always be STUFF to sort out. I did an informal survey and asked a number of women ” are you happy”? Sadly over half of them either said NO or I DONT KNOW. I asked some older women if they were happy when they were raising their kids and younger in marriage they mostly laughed .. one said ” back then it wasn’t even about being happy.. we just knew our place and our duty.. we never felt our needs were valid”. I think a lot of women carry resentment around their whole lives. They feel left out.. they feel they lost their youth.. most die worn out.. taking care of everyone but themselves. My mother in law ( God bless her) would say ” my dear.. don’t kill yourself.. if you do .. life will still go on ” Some women run themselves ragged and then die of stress .. the man just mourns then remarries.

Where do YOU fit in? Yes take care of your home.. your husband.. do that.. but please take care of you. You are entitled to weekly pampering.. quarterly vacations.. an hour of rest during the day doing NOTHING .. you are entitled to a worry free life.. you are entitled to calm.. you are entitled to laughter with friends and guilt free fun.. don’t grow old before your time. Remember .. I “we don’t get a refund on our days” a day lived is a day gone..~ Lami Phillips . So LIVE. A large part of this is learning to say NO.. also coming to terms with what YOU Can’t do.. learning to be selfish… learning to protect yourself. People will push and drag.. have your boundaries . You’ll offend some but those who sincerely love you will understand. Please dear woman.. listen.. you have just one shot at life. Make it count . Hope that helps someone xx #LamiTalks ©™ #LIVINGLami ©™”

Photo credit: Lami Phillips


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Founded in 2007, Ladybrille® Magazine is a California based pioneer digital publication demystifying the image of Africans in the west through contemporary African fashion and celebrating the brilliant woman in business and leadership, with an emphasis on the African woman in the diaspora. Our coverage includes stories on capital, access to markets, expertise, hiring and retention, sales, marketing, and promotions.

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