Raise your hands if you have ever been in a relationship where you felt there was no true reciprocity? You felt you gave your partner so much of yourself and your partner simply did not reciprocate.
Instead of putting your partner on notice and renegotiating the situation, you made the choice to stay and keep silent until you became deeply resentful and exploded with frustration. Have you ever experienced such a situation? Needless to say, depending on the strength of that relationship, that explosion might mean or have meant the end of your relationship with that partner.
Good riddance to bad rubbish? Not so fast.
Let’s cut to the real issue here.
In the above scenario, if you failed to communicate your feelings, how exactly should your partner have known that you were giving your all; but did not feel that there was true reciprocity?
Business relationships are no different than your romantic relationships. Often, I find that we women entrepreneurs sell ourselves short. We qualify the value of our services or products to the point where we undercharge for what we are truly worth. The result is that we build resentment when we realize or feel the value we are giving is more than the value we are truly worth or have asked for.
As an entrepreneur, you should know and believe in your value. You should charge for what you are truly worth, make that clear and put your customers or clients on notice about it. Why? First, it is general good business practice to do so, it will give you peace of mind and help you avoid unnecessary conflicts or burning bridges.
Second, from a business law standpoint, anytime you enter into a contractual relationship with a customer, there has to be a “meeting of the minds” to form a valid contract. Assume you tell your customers/clients that you charge $100.00 for your services, they pay you for that but to you, you are actually worth and should charge $200.00.
Should a dispute arise as to the terms, you will have a difficult time showing that you actually meant $200.00 and that your client or customer understood you charged $200.00 for your services, not the actual $100.00 you contracted with your client. You are not doing anyone a favor by selling yourself short. On the contrary, you set yourself up to be miserable and to ruin relationships all because you do not have the courage to be yourself; and ask for what you want and what you are truly worth.
In a nutshell, if you don’t charge for what you are worth, you will become resentful over time. If you exhibit the frustrating emotion I gave in the introduction of this article, then it is evidence that you need to step back and look deep within and ask yourself this honest question, “what is it within me that makes me sell myself short?”
That thing that you have identified, that is truly who and what your resentment is all about. You need to address that issue so you can stop selling yourself short.
For women, I find that 9/10 times, that “thing” is fear, the fear of rejection.
Are you selling yourself short? It is time to change. It is time to work on your inner self so you accept and believe in your value, and gain the confidence to speak up and charge what you are truly worth.
(Raises a glass) Here is to wishing you success and the ability to face your fear and break the holding patterns that has you selling yourself short.
Cheers,
~Ms. Uduak
Ms. Uduak is best known as an advocate who uses the tools of media and the law to help creatives and businesses clearly articulate their true brand identities, and communicate it to the world through their products and services, to maximize profits. She is a lawyer, speaker, author, journalist, and recognized thought leader, and trailblazer for her work on Africa’s emerging global fashion and entertainment markets, and the niche practice of fashion law in the United States. She is also the founder and publisher of Ladybrille® Magazine, and an Attorney and Partner at Ebitu Law Group, P.C, where her practice focuses on Fashion, Business, & Entertainment Law and Trials. For more information about her, visit www.msuduak.com.
